my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
