How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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