We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
