I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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