Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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