I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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