weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
