is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
