the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she smelled like a LAN party
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
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You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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