Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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