After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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