she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
