I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
