There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
