is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
