I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
