Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
