I got chris browned last night
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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