all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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