So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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