I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
