i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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