Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
do nipples grow back?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
