Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
