I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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