is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
