I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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