remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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