he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
