i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
