this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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