Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
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the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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