i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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