I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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