So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
