This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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