Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
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I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I need moral support for this bender
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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