i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
