Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
