he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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