I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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