Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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