If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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