I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
