its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
