I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
