I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
