Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
