Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
