I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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