you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize