I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize