i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
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As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize