I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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