I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
