so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
