Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
