We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize