i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
